Today, I tried alligator meat.

Eh. It wasn't great, it wasn't terrible. It just was.

Drove out of town today to visit my mom. Ah, the lessons learned on the great paved road. I was reminded of why I live less than a mile from my work and why I hate to drive. Today, I give you... "Profiles of those who should not be allowed to drive."


Eyes below the steering wheel lady: You frequently see her in movies and wonder if she really exists. She does. You are on the freeway and somehow get behind a car that is older than you are and surely is longer than most houses. You can not see the head of the driver, for she is not tall enough to be seen...even though she is neatly situated on several pillows or phone books. Cars are zipping by on your left, giving you no opportunity to pass. You are stuck doing 40 in a 60 zone.. cursing the DMV employee who is probably having a chuckle at your expense.

The Hick with a "sense of humor": His truck towers over your vehicle. His window are down and Garth Brooks is blaring from his speakers. If you were to be behind him, more than likely you would find yourself looking at a metal nutsack hanging from his hitch or mudflaps with a womans silhouette. His back window probably sports a decal with the phrase "Git er done!" He fancies himself quite the driver and likes to "race". Sure, you may need to get over to take your exit. But, he thinks you are playing a game. You speed up to pass, he speeds up. You slow down to get behind him, he slows down. His entertainment comes only from your frustration. Guess what kids, we are taking the long way home.

The Yuppy: There he sits in his 1985 BMW. You would not be able to find a speck of dust in his car or a hair out of place. He drives, meticulously, with hands stationed at ten and two. You can typically find him in the center lane, driving at 60mph, exactly. (OK, he can have is liscence... atleast he is safe)

The Soccer Mom: Beating errant children with one hand and chatting on her cell with the other, you can find this brilliant motorist directly behind you. By directly, I mean driving on your tail so close that you couldnt fit a toothpick between your car and her SUV. You would not understand her need to hurry as your life is in no way anywhere near as hectic or trying as hers is. Buy her a cup of coffee, and she would tell you all about the husband that doesn't pay attention anymore and the trials of being such a "caring" mom who no one appreciates.

I'd continue on, but I have homework to do.




"Life begets life. Energy creates energy. Itis by spending oneself that one becomes rich."
Sarah Bernhardt